dear stomach,

meet butterflies.

again.

Stultifying

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've begun our initial descent into my area. We're currently a KAZILLION miles away from home and should be touching down in BLABLA minutes. The weather in the area is reported as similar to be EFFING SUNNY with a 10000000 degrees celsius, with xxxxx miles visibility, winds out of the north at xxx miles per hour. Please dear pilot, bring me home, now! "

Oh cut the crap.

Penang isn't as enjoyable as I remembered it to be. Or was it even any fun at all? I've come up to a point where I realize, that I don't even know this place? Yes, I'm from Penang, but ask me significant places I won't even have any idea where or which place you're talking about since I've spent most of my time sitting at home. Yes, twenty solid years of living, never missed a year not visiting the talked-about state.

woissshhhh.

On the other hand, maybe I've outgrown from the raya massacre? All the preparations for cuisines and looking good for the first day, what else is there? It's like you're aiming for rainbows and all you get is just stream of light reflectance with 7 different colours. Alright, the metaphor might be just a bit over-the-top.

Or is it just probably that I can't stand the fact looking at my relatives' faces express on how far I've grown? Nonetheless, I am truly blessed to see both of my folks' faces on the pagi raya. These two faces are the reason why I live. My family. My guding-guding family. My mama bear and papa bear.

That's just it, you know? Besides looking forward for the Eid prayers (which is depending on my menstrual cycle's luck)

'Someone' told me that he is Grinch. Only in a Eid-Ul-Fitr' version. Well, I know I already am.

Please See:

This is Grinch.

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri once again. May you're free from pretense to honour your "Maaf Zahir Batin" as I will engage in conflict to find mine.

10 songs you listen to when you're Happy or Sad

Or Neither.

Sad:

blindsided - Bon Iver
talk show host - Radiohead
sweet disposition - Temper Trap
Dragonfly - M. Craft
black swan - Thom yorke
and generally anything by deathcab, pete doherty, M83, lydia, cat power, band of horses.

Happy:

Fader - Temper Trap
Empathy - Crystal Castles
Pa Pa Power - Dead man’s Bones
cheap and cheerful - The Kills
teenage crime - ministry of sound
and anything by marilyn manson, Hot Chip, Jimmy eat world, AFI, Broken social scene.

1 Syawal.

2.45 AM

Touchdown Bagan Ajam, Butterworth. I wanted to beat myself up for being super duper exhausted knowing the fact that I slept almost the entire journey.

3.15 AM

Washed up, pillows ready to tuck us in then suddenly when I was about to sleep, I couldn't move, it was like a sleep paralysis (orang melayu cakap kena 'tindis'). Happened several times and it made my mum worried.

At that point of time I was thinking, "Eh setan baru terlepas dah nak tindis-tindis I? Lek lek duluu,"

But then again, I thought to myself, this could just be my exhausted cells making it's own action.

*Note to self: Look up for "sleep paralysis"

8.15 AM

"Iqa, please wake up. FOR THE LOVE OF RAYA'S SAKE,"-- Mum

So my laughter woke me up.

9.30 AM

Families gathered around, I was in utter shock to see one of my cousins' faces. LIKE OMG TODDLERS FACES CHANGE. FAST. I used to remember all their names but there were just too many of them to remember.

This is something I have to endure with the fact that my dad is sorta the eldest among his siblings- also the most HYPER, LOUD and ridiculously childish.

Photo-sessions were made, funny to see how each family has their own theme colour. We were like a bunch of soldier-cliques. Memang dasar orang Penang kan, suka ber-boria?

By 12 PM

I was already in dad's worn-out t-shirt with my kain baju kurung. Penang is a 100 degrees okay? Slept all the way through 'till

3PM

and had a hell lot of ketupatlemangrendang. Went to dad's uncles' and surprisingly, I still get them green packets! How nice.

So here I am now feeling utterly awkward to blog. I'm treating my blog like a freaking journal. Oh well, I'm gonna beat myself up for leaving it a little too long.

I reckon this Eid is gonna be a so-so pace, but yet, fulfilling :)

I hope your Eid is blessed and sprinkled with joy?

Much Love;

Omg, is that .. ?

This is what I call harsh cleansing.

In case you forgot, I'm still Iqa, and I'm Twenty now.

Brace yourself for more .